My name is Kelly Stringer. I was adopted when I was just two weeks old in Christchurch, New Zealand. I always knew I was adopted—it was never hidden from me. From the very beginning, my parents made sure I felt loved, wanted, and secure.
I grew up in a warm and happy home with three older brothers. My dad was Māori, and my mum was European. Our family life was filled with love, laughter, and strong values. I never felt like I was missing anything as a child. I was raised knowing I belonged.
As I grew older and eventually became a mother myself, something inside me shifted. I began to feel a deep need to understand where I came from—not because I was unhappy with my upbringing, but because I wanted answers for my children and myself. I wanted to know my medical history, my ancestry, and the story behind my beginnings.
When I was 22 years old, I met my birth mother for the first time. Her life was very different from the one I had known. Through her, I discovered that I am the eldest of ten children. Four of my siblings, like me, were adopted. Over time, I met all of the living siblings from my mother’s side, and that helped fill in many pieces of my story.
However, one big question remained unanswered—my birth father.
For many years, I tried to find information about him. Unfortunately, I was given false leads and incorrect details, which led to disappointment after disappointment. Eventually, the emotional toll became too heavy, and I gave up hope of ever knowing that side of my family.
Then, when I was 46 years old, everything changed.
I decided to take a DNA test. With the help of a DNA detective, I was finally able to trace my biological father’s family. While I was overjoyed to learn the truth, there was also heartbreak. My biological father has dementia and will never know that I am his daughter.
Despite this, something beautiful happened.
His family—my uncles, aunties, and cousins—welcomed me and my children with open arms. There was no hesitation, only acceptance, love, and connection. Through them, I finally found the peace and closure I had been searching for my entire life.
My heritage means everything to me now, and it means just as much to my children. My father is Māori from the North Island of New Zealand, and for the first time in my life, I can see myself in others. For years, I felt like I didn’t look like anyone. After meeting my father’s family, that feeling disappeared.
I have cousins who look just like me. My daughter has cousins who could easily be mistaken for her twin. Seeing those reflections of myself—and my children—has been incredibly powerful.
Although my biological father may never know me, knowing where I come from has given me a sense of belonging I never realized I was missing. I now carry my story with pride, gratitude, and peace.
This journey has shown me that family is not just about how you begin, but about love, connection, and acceptance—found in the most unexpected ways.
— Kelly Stringer
Adopted from Christchurch, New Zealand
Now living in Queensland, Australia
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