Ma I cant be friends with her, she is scary. She called a girl who looked so cute like the girl in the picture below: scary.
These horrid words were spoken by my 7 year old when we were coming back from school.
I did not even understand what to say or even react to. I mean what do you say? You scold, you shout, you go numb or you become brain dead!!! In my case I questioned where have I been wrong or if in anyway she picked up that being black or dark skin is ugly.
As shocked as I was I still mustered enough courage to ask why she thinks that she is scary as that girl looked very friendly to me while she was standing near the school gate waiting for her mom. The mom was so pretty.
“Ma, papa says you are darker than him because nanaji ( mothers father) is dark, it means being dark is bad”.
“Yes my dad is very dark and I dont care. He is my dad and your grandpa who loves you” me.
I came home, mad at myself and told my husband fair and square that we better never discuss colour issues not even as a joke.
There were two things I learned
- Our jokes can be sinister for kids.
- One cant lose a friend or judge someone based on colour.
I know my daughter still is not very thoughtful of dark skinned people but I am determined to put an end to it or at least hammer it down in her brain that colour is the last thing that matters when we want real friendships.
A good friend is a good friend no matter what colour: green purple black white.
Good news:
My kiddo made a Zimbabwean friend today and me too. Yay!!! I am sooo happy.
I still discuss with her as race issues need to be dealt with, we cant be politically correct here. We need to be clear to kids as kids will eventually get the truth, its best if it comes from the parent.
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